


Blake Does Weird Things For No Reason

by RedVelvetLadybug



Series: Team RWBY does weird things for no reason [1]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Blake is basically unstoppable and highly extra, Expect nb!Blake in all my fics because they're an icon, Gen, Liberal Use of Semblances, Nonbinary Character, Very Impractical use of semblances, When will Weiss' suffering end?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2019-06-12 17:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 7,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15344826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedVelvetLadybug/pseuds/RedVelvetLadybug
Summary: Yes this is a nonsense Blake-centric drabble fic you're welcome :3





	1. Chapter 1

Sometimes Blake does really weird things for no reason. Often involving liberal use of their semblance to carry out simple tasks in less than simple ways. 

 

Yang calls it 'being extra’ and Weiss considers it entirely ridiculous but also notes how Blake has been becoming more adept with the applications of their semblance over time. All in all it made them a bit of a local legend in the Halls of Beacon Academy and spending time with them could get really interesting. 

 

/ 

 

“Blaaaake!” Ruby whined aloud.

 

“Yes Ruby?” Blake responded, quickly turning a page in their newest horror novel, “The Red Dot That Moves’. It had them on the edge of their seat, suspense gripping at their heart as the protagonist was stuck in an endless chase. 

 

“You’re hogging up the bathroom! I need to pee  _ so bad _ .” Ruby danced around on the spot, groaning and trying her best to hold it in. 

 

“I’m not in the bathroom, I’m reading.” They held up their open book by the spine.    
  
“Ugh.. B l a k e.” Ruby stomped her foot. “Make Not-Blake let me use the bathroom before something  _ bad _ happens.” 

 

Blake sighed deeply, setting their book aside so they could concentrate. Moments later the lock clicked and the bathroom door opened up unoccupied. 

  
“Thanksgottapeebye!” Ruby hurriedly called out, slamming the bathroom door behind herself.    
  
At this rate Blake was never going to figure out how to get their clone to go to the bathroom for them when they didn’t wanna get up. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look in Blake's defense 2 lien is a lot for a pack of skittles

Blake's hand was stuck halfway up the vending machine drop slot, that was a rather unwanted turnout in their opinion

 

“Blake Belladonna!” They halted their struggling, looking in the direction of the yelling Weiss Schnee approaching. 

 

“No?” That counts as a good diversion right? 

 

“What in dust's name do you mean no?!” Maybe not but it was worth the dumbstruck expression on their teammate's face. 

 

“I mean no,” Blake resumed trying to get their arm out of the stupid machine that decided to eat it. “and if you'll excuse me I am trying to get my arm and candy the machine cheated me out of back.”

 

Weiss practically lost brain cells on contact with those words to her ears. 

 

“So you didn't think to I don't know,” Weiss waved her arms vaguely. “Maybe ask a maintenance worker?” 

 

“If I left to find someone my candy would get stolen and I worked long and hard to afford it Weiss. You wouldn't understand.” 

 

Weiss rolled her eyes  “It's literally 2 lien, anyone would have that much.” 

 

“2 lien I  _ worked hard _ for Weiss.” Blake corrected. 

 

Weiss sighed so very deeply that her soul was probably leaving with the release of air. “Why am I even trying to reason with you?” 

 

“You can either stay and help me or do something else, it's really up to you here.” Blake offered plainly. 

 

“Great. Now I feel responsible for your actions.” She whined. 

 

“ _ Congratulations” _

 

“Look, I'm going to find help and you are going to not do anything that could make this situation even more idiotic while I'm gone. Am I clear?” 

 

“Sure, you do your reasonable thing while I sit here and slowly die of hunger.” Blake scoffed. 

 

“It's. Just. Candy.” That was it, Weiss was storming off now so she could find someone more qualified to deal with this nonsense. 

 

Blake stared up at the vending machine and braced their right leg against the glass divider for support. This was going to get rough. They called up a clone from their shadow and ordered it to hold their waist tight and pull with them. They pushed their foot against the glass and began trying to dislodge their arm. 

 

Meanwhile Weiss had found a staff member and told him of the situation and were both on their way to the vending machine when  **it** happened. There was a loud thump and then a heavy impact that shook the hall and the sound of glass breaking and Weiss knew, absolutely 100% knew what happened without having to see it and wholly regretted her existence as a member of Team RWBY. 

 

She shouted at the top of her lungs 

 

“Blake Belladonna you absolute dumbass!” 

 

“Oh fuck grab the snacks and run” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't even ask I don't know either

“Hey Blake!” Ruby greeted as Blake entered the cafeteria. 

 

“Hello Ruby.” Blake nodded to her before walking over to the lunch line.   
  
“And uhh, hi not-blake and not-blake..” Ruby scratched the back of her head as Blake’s duplicates go in line behind them, each taking up a food tray.    
  
“Yang what’s going on?” Ruby asked her sister sitting across from her at their table.    
  
Yang shrugged her shoulders. “Heck if I know, something ain’t right with that logical processing of Blake’s.” She went back to eating her chicken nuggets.    
  
“Weiss is gonna start screaming again if she finds out isn’t she?” Ruby’s face took on a expression of terror.    
  
“Oh yeah, definitely”

 

Blake and their apparent siblings came back by the table with a meal each, sitting down in random spots around Yang and Ruby.    
  
“Hey.” They greeted and dug into their tuna sandwich.    
  
Yang had to poke the elephant in the room with her stick made of rampant curiosity. “Your shadows can eat?”   
  
Blake paused and shook their head. “Oh no, I didn’t want them to feel left out while I did.”

 

“Huh. Alright then.” There was no arguing with that.    
  
They each ate silently after that, minus those who couldn’t but definitely tried anyway. A for effort and all that. 

“So then why do you have them summoned in the first place Blake?” Ruby asked, finishing off her milk. 

 

“I look more threatening with three of me around. Trying to scare Winchester off targeting Faunus students, might start a protection squad with the three of us, get matching jackets.” Blake explained casually.    
  
“While your motives are cool and all this is weird even for you.” Yang said, somewhat concerned for her partner.    
  
“It’s my brand Yang, you wouldn’t understand.” They said with a flip of their hair. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh look! Continuity!
> 
> On the other hand, Oh no Continuity! 
> 
> The shitpost is become too powerful.

“Okay, so I get the whole ‘squad of clones’ thing you’ve had going on because quite frankly I’d either have to accept it or lose every remaining brain cell I have to this nonsense. But  _ why is one of them wearing a mascot costume? _ ” Blake waved off the question as stupid. 

 

“They take on the form of whatever I looked like at the time of summoning Weiss, you already knew that.” Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger and screamed internally.    
  
“Yes, I do know that. What I  _ don’t know _ and quite possibly don’t want to is why you were wearing a green dinosaur costume at some point today!”

 

“I have a job.” They stated nonchalantly.    
  
“You have a job.” Weiss parroted back. 

 

Blake shrugged. “How else do you think I get my skittles money.”    
  
“Why does your tone imply some sort of scandalous act?” 

 

Blake shrugged again. “I really like my skittles.”   
  
“That does not answer my question in the slightest.” 

 

“Look,” Blake turned and reached into one of their pockets, crinkling sounds making Weiss curious until she narrowed her eyes intensely, catching on. Blake pulled out a crumpled, half empty package of skittles and held it out to Weiss. “Would it make you feel better if I shared some?”   
  
“ _ Blake. _ ” Weiss warned.    
  
“What?” They growled back.    
  
“ _ I do not want your stupid candy.” _

  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's based on a dream i had

The shadow image of Blake fell to the ground, stabbed through the heart, and disappeared as Blake their self watched in detached interest. 

 

Yang ran over, concerned at the display. “Hey Blake, you okay?!” 

 

“I'm fine Yang.” They returned their black blade into its sheath and replaced it on their back. 

 

“Yeah you say that  _ but _ I just watched you kill one of your own shadows.” 

 

Blake looked Yang right in the eye. “Sometimes I think 'this will be the day one of my shadows dissolves rather than fading’ “

 

“Uhh so?” Yang wasn't really getting the problem. 

 

“I am not prepared to find out I die like  _ Grimm _ Yang.” 

 

Yang held her hand up. “Wait hold up. You think you're somehow gonna be a Grimm that looks like a person?” 

 

“It does fall in with the more plausible fears.”

 

“I don't even know where to begin with that sentence. You're not a Grimm Blake, a  _ dumbass _ maybe but definitely not Grimm.” 

 

Blake crossed their arms over their chest. “I share one of my secret fears with you and you betray my trust.” 

  
Yang threw her hands up in the air, frustrated. “How did any of us ever think you were the calm and collected one on the team?! _ ” _


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So that was a thing

How could it be explained? It was behaviour in Blake that likely didn’t exist in other Faunus despite their claims that it was a trait of heritage. Ruby was pretty sure Blake just liked to watch things break like a house cat would with high surfaces and fragile objects, pawing it over the edge. It wasn’t a regularly occurring thing, more like an event. Some sort of hormonal cycle like heat but replace increased reproductive energy with destructive energy. But well, the whole thing was only figured out  _ after _ enough things were broken the first time. 

 

So with that thought the Yeet Cycle was conceived a name. Yeah thank Yang for that. 

 

Too bad there were no warning signs. 

 

/

 

Blake sat in class, between Weiss and Ruby with Yang on the other side of her sister. They were drumming their fingers on the desk surface in front of them, unable to focus on the work at hand. 

 

“Weiss.” They whispered so the professor wouldn’t hear.    
  
Weiss ignored them for good reason.    
  
“Weiss.” 

 

“Weiss.”   
  
“Weiss.”    
  
“You’re being awfully rude Weiss.”    
  
Weiss’ head turned so fast she could have whiplash now.    
  
“What. Do. You. Want.” She hissed through gritted teeth. 

“May I borrow a pencil?”   
  
“ _ That’s _ why you’re distracting me? You should have come to class prepared.” 

 

“So yes or no?”    
  
“No. Ask Ruby.” Weiss went back to working on her assignment, hopefully in peace. 

 

_ Schnees. _

 

Blake turned their attention on Ruby who was doing other non-assignment things, in fact they were pretty sure she brought the wrong notebook to class and was just helplessly winging it at this point. They felt for their lost-looking leader, but still needed a pencil to replace the one they lost earlier to extraneous forces beyond their will. That was a good and vague excuse to use, some of the time. 

 

“Ruby.”    
  
“Hi Blake, what’s up?” Ruby was a nice contrast to the arctic front on their left.    
  
“May I borrow a pencil?”   
  
“Yeah um gimme a second I have  _ so many _ ”

 

“Why do you come to class with more pencils than you need but manage to forget your notebook?” 

 

“Leeet’s not get into questions we don’t want the answers to okay?”    
  
Blake couldn’t argue with that.    
  
“Okay here, this one is pretty neat. It sparkles Blake, you must cherish it with your life.”

 

_ Oops. _

 

Next thing Ruby knew there was a slight woosh and Cardin down the rows below just got pelted in the head with the sparkly pencil. 

 

“Sparkly pencil no!” Ruby cried out in terror and then turned to Blake with tears forming at the corners of her eyes. “ _ Why Blake?”  _ Utter betrayal in a class environment was a new life achievement Blake didn’t think they could accomplish. 

  
  
“I couldn’t resist the urges Ruby.. I’m in Yeet.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here's the entirely sudden sequel to that last chapter

“In this world it’s yeet or be yeeted.” Blake proclaimed, recovered sparkly pencil in hand, held high like a sword in a rallying cry. 

 

“It’s literally not.”    
  
The sparkly pencil hit Weiss right on the ear and dropped to the floor, rolling away. 

 

“Ow!” 

 

“We do not question the laws of nature in this household Weiss. We embrace them and in the yeet of battle may our aim fly true!”   
  
“Can I have my pencil back now Blake?”

 

Blake looked at her with remorse, remembering the classroom situation. “Of course Ruby, sorry for losing it.” They picked it up off the floor and handed it to her.    
  
“Thanks.” Ruby replaced it in her veritable pencil pocket dimension of a pencil case because there was no way it was physically possible to fit that many in there and they’d seen it with their own eyes. 

  
“Anyway as I was saying, you’re a stick in the mud Weiss and not even the fun kind that can be thrown.”   
  
Weiss screamed. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if you had to ask where exactly team rwby went wrong, well..

So maybe letting Blake have free reign of their semblance in the team sparring match wasn’t the best idea anyone had lately but like, what was the worst that could happen.    
  
Apparently a number of things all at once. All relating to what became some sort of chaotic and entirely one-sided boss battle taking place in one of Beacon’s training rooms. 

 

“Blake! Blake sto- Blake you're so cheating!”” 

 

It was supposed to be two on two, Blake and Weiss, for which Weiss was ever thankful not to be the victim this time, against Ruby and Yang. 

 

Yang had her arms raised in front of her face, crossed over one another defensively as she slowly backed up with the pace of the oncoming assault from Gambol Shroud’s pistol. Weiss didn't even know what to do with herself here other than stand off to the side, Myrtenaster loosely held in hand as she watched on in bewilderment. 

 

Ruby kept trying to get close to Blake in hope of some opening that might show itself but was otherwise stuck dodging in and out of range with small bursts of her semblance, clearly agitated and having less than a fun time the longer this mess continued. 

 

Blake their self was the very picture of a one person DIY siege unit, sitting astride the shoulders of one of their summoned shadows like a piggyback chariot. They had their weapon's ribbon wrapped half-taut around their forearm with the lead in hand, swinging their pistol around in a circular arc like a primitive flail rather the high tech variable ballistic chain scythe it was meant to be used as. 

 

Blake was grinning, golden eyes alight with mischievous intent throughout the whole encounter and generally having a good time. 

“This is my city now Yang and  _ I _ decide what's fair game here.” 

 

“I'm going to have to agree with Blake Yang,  _ mostly so that they won't turn on me _ .” Weiss whispered that last part to herself, not willing to aggro the tank faunus. 

 

“Weiiiss! How could you betray me, your partner? Your own flesh and blood?!” Ruby shrieked, 100% more dramatically than anyone with a sense of preservation for their dignity would. 

 

Oh well, no one else was there to watch this debacle anyway, thank dust for private training rooms. 

 

“Ruby we're not related in any way, shape or form. Now _please_ _calm down_ before I die of embarrassment for you. 

 

“But you love me Weiss, I'm your bff!” Ruby pouted. 

 

“Do you have cited sources to back that claim?” 

 

“I can't believe you think my sister would do complicated paperwork. What alternate reality did you just come from?” Yang grunted, still trying to deflect Blake's attacks with her gauntlets. 

The training room’s pressure seal door opened inward, making that weird grippy noise refrigerators do when similarly pulled open. 

 

“Might I ask why you have not cleared out when your scheduled time ended?” Yeah, it was Professor Goodwitch as usual, standing in the doorway, stony gorgon gaze of a stern expression, her true hunter weapon, primed and ready.

 

She looked around, taking in the environment that was proving to be a story to tell at the next staff meeting. 

 

“Of course it's you four, why would it ever  _ not _ be?” Glynda stated in all annoyance and internally and partly externally loathing the existence of Team RWBY 

 

Yang stopped and waved to her. 

 

“Uhh hi Professor.. you here to help us get Blake to  _ stop being a filthy cheater?” _

 

This could have been the moment that Glynda finally snapped and personally saw to evicting these idiots from the Academy by force of telekinetic semblance herself, but she had better restraint than that.  Even if she did have daydream fantasies of throwing Blake Belladonna over the cliffs into the Emerald forest. 

 

Someone had to be the sane one here, so standard reprimand was the only option. 

 

“Detention, the four of you. Now.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casual misdirection is Key.

The strength of their own arms and one of their shadows, each holding one side of the large pair of bolt cutters, a third keeping watch perched on the top of the fence corner closest to the gate of the tall iron-fenced perimeter. Why they didn’t just climb over to get inside when it was obviously possible was yet to be clear but they sure were determined to kill the length of chains binding the gate to the the main fence post securely. Both Blake’s pushed at the handles from either side, squeezing inward and feeling the hard resistance of the blades pressing into the links. 

 

This was a rescue mission of the highest priority and it needed to be done quick while it was still dark in the early morning when no one was around. It was a time for direct action against the restraints of society and ‘closing time’. 

  
The chains broke apart, dropping to the ground in a heavy clatter of metal and Blake took the bolt cutters in a overhead grip and threw them through the window of the ticket booth/attached gift shop, shattering the glass. Their shadow dropped down from the fence and followed Blake and the other shadow as they climbed through the window and walked into the middle of the room. They spotted a glint of metal in the darkness with their natural night vision and moved to it with intent. They snatched it up off the counter on the inside of the ticket window where a small ‘lost and found’ bin for important looking items sat.    
  
They looked at the item in their hand, inspecting it to be sure before pocketing it.    
  
Idiot left their keys at work again. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Blake fic chapter that doesn't have Blake in it? Who knew

Yang, Ruby and Weiss were quietly and responsibly sitting around a table in the library with notebooks open and study material scattered about the open space. They were studying, like normal students who wished to keep their grades steady and eventually become hunter graduates did. 

 

They all knew what they were doing with their lives but had no idea what Blake was even doing at Beacon some days. What were their goals and driving motivation? They never took their self seriously and it was a miracle that they attended all their classes and managed to succeed in staying afloat. 

.

Any minute now Blake could come in and do something, maybe somehow be on fire and casually not notice as they burned the library down and destroyed enough books to warrant the destruction of all written knowledge as their mark on society. RWY would take it in stride and hopefully finish up the research paper they were working on together in time to avoid heat death. That'd be pretty neat. 

 

If Blake didn't show up then there would be significantly less arson charges involved and no one would end up in the police station downtown. That's a win/win right? 

 

Life with Blake comes with Health and Safety Warning pamphlets now.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well that was dramatic

Blake has a way with words that tends to make people see things differently. A poetic sense on life as would be described of and by a lame literature stereotype. Ruby reads just as much as her teammate does so she knows what that looks like whenever she tries to brave some of Blake’s more racy romance novels when really bored of her own collection of books. Except the way they change a person’s view on simple things often leaves them wary and mildly threatened by what seems like vaguely ominous fortune cookie tellings. 

 

Cryptic and somehow predictive of things. Blake’s a pull-string doll that tells you concerning things about things you’re currently involved with in passing like they’re saying hello. Blake’s a master at unnerving and dumbfounding and frustrating their teammates with just a small string of words. 

 

Ruby just wanted to drink her milk in peace. Was that so much to ask of the universe?  _ Apparently not _ because here comes Blake with a confident smirk on their face and that never means anything good for anyone with sanity ever. Forever. That’s just how the signs of the coming storm were now and no one could stop once it was seen because the witness was pretty much already marked for death at that point. Blake had her in their sights and was ready to take the shot. 

 

Ruby hugged her small carton to her chest defensively like it was her child in danger. She loves milk, it needed its purity protected from the evils of the world. 

 

Blake looked at the milk carton, looked right through it somehow to at the liquid contents itself, eyes narrowing as their scrutinized its existence down to the very core of its being and if it could feel fear it would be shaking in its cardboard confines. Blake’s gaze shifted, snapped upward to meet Ruby eye to eye and their mouth opened, prepared to pounce on the kill with words alone and they said. 

 

“Milk can’t be considered real until my demands are met.”

 

Their demands were never spoken, Ruby never knew what to do. She couldn’t enjoy milk anymore without feeling afraid of the unknown.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Think before you act and potentially murder someone on accident

Well this could have certainly gone better to a significant degree. A lot of things could have gone better in this situation. Most of all, the window a/c unit in the RWBY dorm definitely did not need to fall out the window and crash hard enough on the ground outside to make an echo. Summer heat without air conditioning was basically pre-decided death by the hands of the gods above or whoever else thought to spite Blake very specifically in this time of dire need. They window hadn’t even been opened any higher than what was necessary for the machine to fit in the sill securely, they just went to turn it up to a higher setting on this the soul-crushingly hottest day of the summer yet to be had and then it was dead. Dead and killed and the murderer was standing in the middle of the room with one hand still held in the air from where they had just attempted to turn the temperature knob and shocked beyond belief. 

 

“BLAKE!” Unanimous resounding chorus of their name called in anger aside. Blake was fucked even without three soon to be murderers themselves on their back. Now it was going to be  _ hotter _ . There was no hope of survival for any of them now and a plan of action needed to be made quick that would result in Ruby, Yang and Weiss working together with them to find a solution to the destroyed a/c unit. One step back, two and three steps back. One leap forward and another through the glass and pane, nevermind the dorm being on the second floor of the building gravity was a lie anyways and Blake wasn’t going to let a lie stop them. 

 

Or, okay so maybe not as much of a lie as they liked to believe and they hit the ground head first and died on impact. Someone screamed. Blake’s body fizzled out, returning to nothingness. The real Blake peered out the window in mild interest before turning around and shrugging at their teammates. “I honestly don’t know what I was trying to accomplish with that.” 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blake does not like the dogs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have writers block for my actual stories at the moment but i can still shitpost dramatically

Oh no. Oh no. Oh the fuck no. The beast has returned from the hell dimension that it was spawned from by all intents and purposes of evil and chaos to be wrought upon the lands. “Zwei!” Ruby exclaimed, bearing the accursed name of it for all to hear and cry mercy. It always sought them out, honed in on their very otherwise undeserving existence because somehow they were more appealing a target than it's own masters, the red and yellow themed sisters. Blake watched it from over the top of their novel currently held in fearful hands and hoped it would be a quick and painless end to their short career as a hunter-in-training. The 'Zwei’ ran excited to claim another soul as prey and pounced toward their bed. 

 

_ Oh right. _ Being a said hunter-in-training meant the capacity for self defense and use of semblance. Stupid. In such a moment of weakness Blake forgot theirself. One moment, a blink of corporeal boundaries unfound and zwei landed on the bed, empty of its occupant just previously. Ruby looked at the bed, awestruck, dumbstruck, trying and failing to run mental physics calculations in a desperate attempt to figure out what just happened. She was there, as witness and she couldn't understand a thing. Blake was there, not even a not-second later because there was no way time passed between the moment where Blake was and then very much wasn't. 

 

Ruby screamed so loud she alerted her teammates to herself and Weiss and Yang both looked at her startled by the sound. Yang jumped down from her bunk and consoled her sister thinking she was hurt but Ruby shook her head and pointed to the spot in Blake's bed and panicked. “Blake stopped existing!” Weiss started at her for a moment and then sighed in clear relief and slight cheer. “Finally.” 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're not gonna expect this one at all

“Oh. You’re back.” Weiss grimaced painfully. “W-Welcome.. back..” She didn’t ask for this fate, never ever would for anything in the world. Blake, the very manifestation of nightmare fuel and loss of sanity had returned from wherever the went and didn’t stay there for the rest of eternity to leave her in peace. “I am.” Blake nodded. Sitting on their bed again not two hours after the zwei incident which, unfortunately could not repeated for her sake thanks to Ruby’s denial and seemingly  _ seemingly _ ‘harmless’ denial and care for the teammate. Worse, it was just the two of them in the room now because Ruby and Yang decided to go outside to play with Zwei rather than be the first defence against Blake’s chaotic antics. 

 

Weiss only wished she could also suddenly disappear like Blake did and just stay in some Blake-less void space for as long as Blake lived. Gods, she just wanted a nap, a break, a vacation from having to exist but apparently hell didn’t give out vacation days anymore. “Blake,” She spoke up, voice hardening. “Where did you go exactly?” She had to know, had to know where they hid so that she could do the same if the worst came to it. Blake hummed, thinking for a moment. “The vents.” Oh of course, that made sense.  _ The vents. The. Vents.  _ “Why were you in the vents?!” Weiss shrieked at them, catching them off guard for a moment. Blake shrugged, that shrug of noncommittal nothingness that gave no answer and only caused indignation to rise in the essence of all those who were Weiss Schnee. “The vents go places, outside, to the cafeteria. Places.”

 

Weiss stood up tall, hovering over them in her spot between their beds and she pointed at them like she would strike them down right there with her finger alone. “The dorms aren’t even in the same building as the cafeteria! How? How do you make no sense all the time!?” Blake smirked at her, knowing what they were doing. “I have my ways Weiss.” They stood up too, off their bed and held their full height over her, acting in intimidation against her. Pushed, jabbed one of their fingers at her chest. “You wouldn’t understand, you’re not on my level.” Weiss gulped, looking up into their piercing golden gaze and held it even though hers was faltering to meet it head on. Her voice came out small. “I don’t.. why?” 

 

The finger moved from her chest and touched her lips to shush her. Blake gave her a genuine smile and leaned in close to whisper at her ear. “Why not?” 

 

Weiss’ hand came away from their face stinging in slight pain and she stormed out of the room in a hurry. Blake ran their hand over the red handprint on their cheek, stared out the open door dumbly. “Wow, I’m gay.”

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have come full circle to somewhere and that circle is going out the window like a frisbee

Yang sat there, thought really hard about things, things that needed hard thinking about because they were hard topics to have thoughts for. Her brain tried its best and it sure did because no less than the best mental processing was required to handle this kind of situation that would break a weaker being in half and steal their kidneys for profit. Blake, the accursed one as some legends told of, had somehow.. somehow managed to break up with their shadow, one of them. Apparently because this counted as a four-self marriage?(?) among their own semblance and soul and infighting was now a thing that could happen in this failed universe as Yang believed it to be. 

And so here Yang was, sitting on her bed minding her own business and going about her day and suddenly the particular shadow was there standing at the bunk beds staring up at her and it asked, as best as it could with no possibility to speak, for relationship advice. Of course Yang tried to ignore it, maybe pretend she was asleep or sick or dead but there was no fooling someone who's facial expressions amounted at a score of negative seven and a half out of ten because trying to was just damn creepy with how the not-Blake would look unamused without even moving a single muscle in its face and you only could take so much nightmare fuel in your life before you were willingly dousing yourself in it and striking a match.

And so the shadow told the tale of Blake's actions through an animated game of charades that took much longer than it really should have but Yang was already so done and tired of everything and the real Blake hadn't even interacted with her at today which was also kinda weird and foreboding but then this could have counted as the result too even if unintentional on their part in some technical way. So worst comes to the best of the worst and they're working together, planning and trying to think of how to properly express to Blake that not-Blake was genuinely seeking forgiveness and wanted to try again together but who even knew why any of that happened in the first place. Also there was a boom box in the closet that totally was not there when any of the teammates moved into the dorm and that was a lot of loaded questions that were better left unasked for the sake of sanity. 

And so they left together because now it was a doubles project through and through and Yang was the accomplice regardless of her own say in the matter. For some reason they had to hide out together until nightfall for Blake to be in bed but still awake and yes it was raining because that's just how these moods worked and yes Ruby and Weiss were in the dorm as well but no one seemed to care about that because if you already didn't make sense to begin with you might as well grab handfuls of nonsense while you can. Standing out in the rain, aforementioned boom box held overhead for effect and also to shield from the rain the shadow pressed play on the track and broadcasted some really cheesy pop love song for all to hear and Yang was ready to melt into the ground and disappear forever out of embarrassment and secondhand embarrassment at the same time. This was the worst possible reality ever and it was kicking her ass straight for the sun. 

The window opened, sliding up with a creak and out poked Ruby's head wondering just what was going on and then she saw who it was and got Blake's attention who also peeked out at the public disturbance charge waiting to happen, narrowed their eyes and said “Why are you even still summoned? How are you here?” But all not-Blake could think to do was a tilt of the head and a shrug like the latter question was being asked for their self back at Blake and they met some kind of impasse but Blake shook their head and closed the window shut and locked tight. Even Blake couldn't understand their own bullshit sometimes. Truly and heartbreakingly rejected, the shadow didn't know what to do now with their self and sunk down on their knees in the grass and dirt of the lawn outside the dorm building and let out a silent cry of anguish. Yang just went back inside and got ready to pretend today didn't happen and sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every good heist starts with an impulse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing is hard don't try it at home
> 
> Edit: Now featuring a Blake at the end of the chapter that i commissioned from seeyouguyslater.tumblr.com

Gambol Shroud had been damaged in a mission recently and only one person in the entire world could be trusted to repair it. So Blake leant their weapon to Ruby to work on and in the meantime they had no weapon to fight with. A hunter without a weapon is basically naked, possibly afraid, and while Blake could say that all they felt in the moment was hunger for a big snack the point of the matter is that they need to improvise.

 

They weren't in going to build a whole new hunter weapon, that takes money and effort and even more effort and the requirement that anyone trusts you to handle dangerous materials without adult supervision. Furthermore all they knew how to do was sword gun and gun sword and the combination of the two that is Gambol Shroud but they already had one of those and weren't about to look like a hunter that goes through the same weapon like someone would wear two of the same shirt for consecutive days because that's lame.

 

There's only one option available and it requires stealth, precision and tape. Luckily two of those are easily store bought.

 

_It's the stealth that's homemade_.

 

Now it's common knowledge that office supplies make a war but despite Beacon Academy being an institution to train students for war they do not give out said office supplies yet so easily. One must earn them through diligence, respect and/or the key to the supply closet located within the main faculty office. Night, when school hours are out is the ideal time to perform such a surgical option but it's 11:42am on a weekday and Blake already snuck out of class leaving a subtle copy of theirself in place to not draw attention and really they had nothing better to do.

 

Step 1 complete.

 

There's a ventilation duct that opens above the ceiling of the faculty office's main room and the plan is simply to drop in undetected, get inside the closet, get her target and leave the same way.

 

Getting to the entry point had been quick and easy as Blake is a known ventilation prospector of some repute (To their team at least).

 

Normally Gambol Shroud would be used to make silent work of the grate they needed to open and that was the problem at hand. So they heelkicked it downwards instead and only alerted two professors of their presence. Piece of cake. Since the rules of stealth also happen to follow a clause of deniability Blake can safely say that as long as they can't _see_ the professors the professors can't see them either. Going in blind.

 

They drop into the room with their eyes closed, arms out to feel around. “I'm not here right now and you have no reason to do so since I'm not here but… one of you should unlock the supply closet anyway. Thanks”

 

Does that method work? No. Can they see the looks of sheer disbelief directed at them? No. So theoretically all is going accordingly

 

Step 2? Is that a thing? Complete.

 

Until they tripped over a chair during their blind meandering of the office and crashed out a window into a two foot fall outside.

 

The matter of the fact is they didn't get to take enough black markers to make a sword out of but at least the result is multiple detentions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The words pretty much wrote themselves and took me along for a ride

Some say you can take a horse to water but not make it drink. Others in particular would claim that the horse already knew how to swim before even being taken to a body of water ever in their life previous. Was it the same horse? Blake finds themself in a equine perplexity one can only experience in front of a steam-soaked mirror after a shower in the midday of a sunny Tuesday. Personally, they have never met a horse and then yet not had the chance to ask if it knew any horses that could swim. How does one know what the answer may vary between. 

 

Maybe Blake had been reading too many books about horseback adventures lately and that would also maybe explain why the librarian keeps giving them skeptical looks like she knew herself that Blake would somehow find a way to get ahold of such a creature and bring it onto academy grounds. SImply because if one plus one could equal two, questionable persons and questionable activities came together like hard plastic packages and a lack of available scissors. Grandtheft equinary aside, Blake tended to become quite hungry after a long break at a reading table in Beacon’s library shrouded away from the rest of their team so that they might relax after classes. 

 

So a trip to the cafeteria to peruse the available selection of eligibly edible and purchasable goods of varying, questionable freshness must meet priority one on the docket of ‘Things to do to continue living’. Like anything else. Mostly food though. Blake likes food very much. Especially the candied rainbow variety that sells for two lien a fix at the local robotic cube of candy’s safekeeping.

 

Unfortunately there was the fact that a hunter-in-training does not make money simply by existing and Blake’s last job ended in trespassing, vandalism and destruction of property charges. When the police should have had the sense of reason to understand the panic behind accidentally leaving your keys somewhere where they could be stolen. Quite frankly, when Blake applied for the job they had mistaken it for a job at the Vale Museum and not the Vale Zoo and certainly no one told them that dinosaurs couldn’t be kept alive. Heartbreaking honestly. So what’s a unemployed student to do but look for other more suitable means to acquire skittles money? Well, first you start by harassing the nearest applicable wealthy person. 

 

“Weiss.” Prodding gently. Meeting no response. 

 

“Weiss” They make a point to hang upside down from Ruby’s bunk to stare at her despite hair blocking most of their vision since gravity is still a thing. Again. 

 

“Weiss-”

 

“Are we really doing this again? Must we, must I, as a relatively decent human being, go through this experience again for the,” Weiss checks her scroll. “Fifth time this afternoon?”

 

Okay so maybe Blake didn’t spend  _ that much _ time being in the library and noticeably of good behaviour but there was an attempt.

 

“I need money for candy and you have money and therefore the money-giving sounds good.” They nod to theirself and cause the blood to rush to their head that much more. 

 

“And? I thought you ‘have a job’, as you put it” Sending air quotations flying between them like a dust spell cast. 

 

“I don’t anymore.” 

 

“Sadly it seems the retail market value on being an idiot has dwindled. How unfortunate for you.”


	18. Chapter 18

“I think,” Professor Goodwitch broke the silence that had been persistent in her office for many minutes lasting. Only she and one other person were around to experience it and the tension both it and the professor herself were exuding, but the other person's occupant either wasn't aware of the tension or chose simply to ignore it. “we need to talk about your work ethic.” 

 

Now Blake Belladonna could be many things; literate, studious, well-balanced and even consistent in the completion of their classwork. But seeing as how they were squinting their eyes as if that would help them understand spoken words better they simply had to say, “...My what?” 

 

Blake could be many things but willing to know what they're doing in any given moment is not one of them. 

 

Goodwitch leaned forward in her desk chair to find herself more comfortable and rested her hands on the desk in front of herself, fingers interlaced. Despite making her best effort to remain as lax as possible in her posture because she could really use a break it really came down to the fact that this meeting was occurring beyond academy office hours, meaning she wanted to  _ go home already. _ “My point being, you have yet to turn in any of your classroom assignments handed out this semester and I honestly do not know how the student record system has you filed in as anything other than M.I.A. Seeing as how Ozpin himself would think you had left Vale if not for eyewitness accounts of your existence here at Beacon.” Then Professor Goodwitch huffed out enough hot air it could fog the lenses of her glasses. “Are you following so far?” 

 

Blake shrugged their shoulders in noncommittal agreement. “Existence is just the state in which I haven’t won yet.” 

 

Goodwitch narrowed her eyes at the hunter sitting across from her, contempt and exhaustion toward them palpable and strained. “What are you doing here, Belladonna?”   
  
“My best?”    
  
She pointed her finger sharply toward the door of her office, arm moving with an audible ruffle of her sleeve. “I only wish I held the authority to expel you. Now go before I opt to put you out of  _ my _ misery.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's said that Glynda's racked up enough iou vacation days that they extend beyond the average life expectancy


	19. Chapter 19

“Blaaaaaaaaa,” At first that was all their ears could pick up from down the hallway, yet they made no move to acknowledge the sound outside of turning to the next page of their textbook. “aaaaaaaaaaaaa,” As the moments went on the sound seemed to get louder, closer. Then there was a break, loud huffs of air, clearly someone out of breath and struggling to refill their lungs with oxygen but afterwards continued what increasingly became clear as either a battle cry or a cry of despair. It could really be either depending the time of day, the person in question and whether Blake had eaten lunch or not. Considering that the voice sounded like Ruby it was most certainly a cry if despair. 

 

Given that Blake had in fact eaten that afternoon it was assured that Blake was no longer hungry for the time being. And-

 

“aaaaake!” Ruby being as dextrous a huntress as herself is managed to both turn the room's door handle and collide with the door itself managed to enter the dorm by means of self inflicted, doorhandle-bound armbar that lead into her laying prone on the  _ thankfully soft _ carpeted floor. Unperturbed by her own gracelessness she capitalized on the moment of lack of surprise. (Blake wasn't even looking in her direction)

“Blake did you eat my cookie dough ice cream again!” 

 

Not looking up from the book they were only self-claiming to read, Blake scoffed. “Yours? I didn't see your name on it.” 

 

By then Ruby was sitting upright in an accusatory fashion only she and most small children can pull off. “I shouldn't have had to! It already had a sticky on it that said  **'This icecream isn't for you Blake. Don't eat it.”** She quoted. 

 

“Pieces of yellow paper hold no significant authority in the heirarchy that is me.” 

 

“Well they should!” 


End file.
